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There are a host of critical issues which we generally reflect on when commencing a discussion with a family. These would include (in no particular order of priority) the following:
This is quite a mix and of course, this list is not exhaustive as the circumstances of each family are different. However, it allows us to put together pieces of a complex jigsaw and to create a high-level view of the overall state of affairs, salient challenges and hopefully, the “glue” keeping the family together.
We also insist that we gauge the “temperature” of the stakeholders. Many patriarchs and family chairpersons tend to think that all is well at the home front, and some are ostriches refusing to acknowledge home truths even if apparent. As we know, life is never simple. We therefore run a process of receiving feedback from all stakeholders on an entirely confidential basis (this is agreed in advance with the key family members). The feedback is based on detailed questionnaires which we prepare and are bespoke to each family. It is in all cases fascinating to review the feedback! Of course, one hopes that the areas of mutual understanding and “family glue” outweigh the differences and areas of disagreement. It will be appreciated that this feedback is vital if one is to have an honest and open conversation as to the actual state of affairs existing within a family. The truth often hurts but it is best faced in advance. As advisors, it is critical to be balanced, open minded, empathetic but also honest and fearless in highlighting different issues and challenges. Giving unpleasant feedback can be tough but there is no choice if the advisor is to advise on remedial steps and suggest constructive, practical and long-term solutions.
Our next step is to arrange a family (stakeholder) workshop. The purpose is to highlight the “family glue” – the important drivers why the family wishes to be together in business in the long term and the strengths of the family. However, the areas of disagreement must also be highlighted (on a no names basis, of course), to try to build consensus around areas of material disagreement. It is impossible to agree on every aspect but finding common ground on salient themes is the ideal outcome. Again, the role of the advisor in this process is critical. It is imperative the advisor is (and is seen to be), open, honest, caring and able to listen and not lecture. The moment there is a sense of “an agenda” in place and trust is lost then the process will be derailed.
We have been in workshops for up to three days, working through critical issues, gently persuading open conversation between generations and in some cases even between say a father and son or daughter where due to cultural values important views and opinions simply cannot be aired. It is often times a cathartic experience for families although overall a healthy process creating a more democratic atmosphere for discussion and sharing of views. The generational divide is important to bridge.
For the advisor, this process can be emotionally demanding, but it is exciting and fulfilling, especially if consensus can be built and agreement can be reached on the way forward as a united family.
Should you have any questions regarding this article series, please do not hesitate to contact Atiq Anjarwalla, Mona Doshi or Devvrat Periwal.
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Contributors
1. Kajal Patel – Senior Associate
2. Purity Wachira – Associate
3. Stephen Deche – Associate
4. Emmah Wakoli – Associate